qwertymonk

bought caulk without having to ask anyone if they know anything about caulk By: via poetry falcon

going going all day all day By: via poetry falcon

neck got worse and sleep was erratic time to get everyone out the door and see my old old friend the chiropractor i am his most loyal customer By: via poetry falcon

and so it is with one hour of sleep and burning back and neck tight and crooked in the heavy night the toddler needs me and walk and walk and sing and sing and finally collapse on the sofa with him on top of me still awake but he doesn't struggle and seems to doze off so i clench him and try to rise up but almost topple us both over i am so tired and i walk him down the loud creaky hardwood hallway and lay him down but he almost wakes up again and as we lay there he wakes up several times but is reassured that he can feel me next to him until finally after i've fallen asleep and been awakened a several times i think i can escape and i do for now By: via poetry falcon

behavior issues with 6 after school i know he works really hard to hold it together all day and then is exhausted from it and can't control himself in fundamental ways once he's home with us and it's hard on everyone because i really miss him when he's gone but i miss him even more when he's not there right in front of me but we do our best to meet each other in whatever way we can By: via poetry falcon

wild turkeys roam the front lawn two yards down from where we wait and approach us By: via poetry falcon

my mind and body are tired in the humid afternoon as we await the arrival of the mustard bus with our first grader in it eager to hear how it went for him and rejoice along with or comfort through the pain By: via poetry falcon

toddler woke up and we performed many household functions together mostly related to cleaning and organizing it is quite different having 6 at school and i had forgotten just how much so but i know there will be days where toddler is sick or upset all day for whatever reason and those are long days as well By: via poetry falcon

then i did a certain meditation practice sitting in the grass also in the sun with wife myself and 6 particularly in mind By: via poetry falcon

toddler fell asleep on the way home so i had a chance to eat a tofu thai peanut wrap and read more of infinite jest while sitting in the sun with my shirt off allowing the breeze to massage my skin and the bird sounds to keep me present By: via poetry falcon

before we went to the pet store i had texted my wife an apology for upsetting her so and explained my understanding of what she's looking for and not looking for and offered how i thought i was being misunderstood she replied an hour or so later also apologizing and admitting that some things are triggering her that she wants to discuss with me but also work on in her own time By: via poetry falcon

toddler and i watered the plants and went to petco to get some cat litter and food for our orange cat as well as watch the fish and birds and rodents do their thing By: via poetry falcon

got 6 off to his first day of first grade and another blow up with the wife afterward feel like i ate a shit sandwich i'm sure her version is equal as i am no saint and prone to misunderstanding By: via poetry falcon

in other news: you can make a decision based on myriad variables that you could never explain to anyone and humans will judge that decision based on their assumptions from wholly different point of view and the whole thing is so oddly disconnected and yet pressed together tightly in a long humid room By: via poetry falcon

i go back inside and work on her computer but it's hopeless so i fire up mine and begin the long download which i'll hopefully be able to transfer to the external drive in some fashion that she can find all this stuff there are more pictures and videos on her phone than i thought possible By: via poetry falcon

so i need to pee before i tackle this impossible job but 6 has locked himself in the bathroom for his required shower so i walk out to a private little spot by the compost and let it flow but i notice a spider freaking out back and forth and realize i'm peeing on the extremity of it's web and it thinks it has caught the jackpot By: via poetry falcon

wife's phone is too full and she wants to be able to take pictures of first day of first grade in the morning but she's had issues trying to get it unloaded onto her computer which is my old computer which out of date in many ways By: via poetry falcon

we head home in a funk except for toddler who is chipper as hell By: via poetry falcon

6 can't manage at the park he can't find anyone to fire up his nerf gun obsession as he drags himself around the sandy lot populated with apparatus and i'm feeling similar but i'm responsible for keeping toddler alive which hasn't been as easy since he became more of a daredevil on the equipment By: via poetry falcon

i read a few pages today even though i'm all behind on everything but i need to rest my legs sometimes or suffer the consequences anyway it was good to dip back in to that world of language and invented futures By: via poetry falcon