qwertymonk

now we’re up for real building crap out of junk By: via poetry falcon

up at 3 4 5 6 By: via poetry falcon

it is still dark grey and still raining as look through the window and open a jar of spaghetti sauce By: via poetry falcon

eventually i’ll have to write about the farm and music school maybe even the first girlfriend but not now it’s too much By: via poetry falcon

the summer after senior year and before i went to music school we had auctioned off the farm and i went skateboarding all day every day and sometimes throughout the night and i got pretty good at it to the point where if i kept it up maybe i could get close to as good as those guys in the videos but then i met my first real girlfriend and started music school the next week changing every single little thing in my life By: via poetry falcon

the only other time i was athletic in any way was ninth grade through senior year when we lived on a dairy farm working goddamn asses off and i was skateboarding every second i could possibly find including in my dreams By: via poetry falcon

ever since then it has been excruciatingly frustrating to try and run getting a week or two of progress only to be thwarted by myriad obstacles and then a month or two later start all over again so as well there is all that learning involved By: via poetry falcon

then i turned in the manuscript for my first book and a few days later after a long run in the morning we went in that night and had our second boy By: via poetry falcon

now i'm 42 and i've been running off and on since then but it was exactly two years ago that i feel i actually became someone who could call themselves a runner because i went every morning and slowly through the every kind of weather became able to run three four five miles and love every minute of it and i could feel that eventually i would need to carve our larger chunks of time to see how far i could go until eventually i would run a half marathon and then a marathon with one exception: i would run them alone that is my preferred state for running and most things really how funny and paradoxical since i'm rarely alone and always available to provide a service By: via poetry falcon

but i couldn't help it i decided to find out for myself gently By: via poetry falcon

i never wanted to run until i was 36 and we had an infant that i would put in the stroller early in the morning and take for a walk around the neighborhood to get him out of the hosue and away from mommy who had been nursing him throughout the night and needed extra rest but after walking everyday eventually my body wanted to run so i just did but i was very careful to be extremely gentle due to warnings from yoga friends and chiropractors on the dangers of running and how bad it is for you By: via poetry falcon

then i drink a glass of water eat a pear By: via poetry falcon

i find some exercises online that i can do in my basement to kick my cardio ass a little but of course it's nothing like going the distance through the elements however hopefully i can keep in some kind of shape that will allow me to burst into a gallop whenever i do have a small fenestration of oppurtunity By: via poetry falcon

It's getting closer and closer to the anniversary of my mom's death. Each year it is a unique experience. I'm reflecting a lot on it and her and life and learning. None of it is comfortable or comforting. Yet. By: via poetry falcon

i am extremely lucky to have the mom i have By: via poetry falcon

high maintenance toddler tough to get down the wakes up after short while crying and feeling yucky so i change his diaper then he fills it with boom boom and i change it again and now he’s super tired cranky needy wanting me to carry him everywhere and wife texts that this week can kiss her ass which i have to agree with that sentiment yet what else is there but this life with its kaleidoscopic shifting contrasts of sensory paraphernalia patterns and all that By: via poetry falcon

mom and fiancé head north to visit her parents and other family as the boys and i try to not to destroy each other while playing rough and then attempt lunch and nap time By: via poetry falcon

she is the first person i ever remember expressing to me that i am able to put my thoughts into words very well which i took not as being a ‘writer’ but as a tool to be able to communicate clearly because she had said this after i wrote a letter that was not necessarily positive in its expression but it was realistic By: via poetry falcon

she likes it a lot and looks forward to reading it everyday she tells me By: via poetry falcon

mom has been reading the channel By: via poetry falcon