qwertymonk's Post
recording one last improv for the year and something is broken on my axe perhaps the jack or killswitch not making proper contact leaving me blowing notes into the wind just like it should be and is By: via qwertymonk
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Showing posts from 2017
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6 having time with just his dad is a rare event and he was so sweet he transformed into scholar boy after we talked a while with his notebook and pencil making mandarin chinese characters and doing math equations which led to drawings of utmost beauty and raw clarity i am in awe of him By: via qwertymonk
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home late from a party at sister in laws place one boy falls asleep in the car and is easily transferred to his bed the other cries himself to sleep worried about the present he may not get and then when he finally falls asleep the other boy wakes up cranky and confused with us already running on fumes and still preparing for the morning the dark and light of this magical time dancing and shredding identities By: via qwertymonk
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decided to take a different approach to nap since yesterday was so awful and i feel much more sick today but 6 freaked out because he didn't want to go for a car ride he just wanted his ipod right now so i bribed him with candy and we drove for a while until 2 fell asleep and then we got him to his bed and 6 was ecstatic to get his reward as was i to lay down only to be interrupted by 6 wanting a new game and then 2 waking up from nap a little while later it is hard to parent all day without a break so i pulled up daniel tiger for 2 and let roll on his ipod while i made some music and uploaded it to the new channel and thanks to everyone who is joining to hear the majestic shred By: via qwertymonk
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i get it all plugged in and slam the whammy pedal up two octaves and then hit the bass octave pedal down two octaves to get this screaming distorted over processed sound that sounds like robot heart attack at the center of the earth and i'm in heaven for a minute before i have to run and help the boys By: via qwertymonk
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my dad comes over early today on his birthday to take a look at the kitchen sink and he finds a series of holes in the pipe that is connected to the disposal so he removes it and heads to home depot for a replacement while the boys make birthday cards for him all excited he's 69 today and spending his day helping his children and grandchildren but we might order him some lunch and celebrate if he'll let us By: via qwertymonk
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mentally obsessed with the swamp ash guitar and all of its quirks i may not fix it because i’ve fixed it in the past and wished i hadn’t but some things may require repair we’ll see but that thing sounds so good cranked through a loud tube head with gigantic stacks of speakers as well the tiny practice amp upstairs and the virtual app on my phone just all around good chunk of wood By: via qwertymonk
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and the garage door motor seems completely shot as we still need a new toilet as well and who wants any of that shit when i just want an amp so i can crank it up and rock out but thus is parenting and in a way it’s liberating to not have a choice called choicelessness which is the case anyway in any case or as my niece says you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit By: via qwertymonk
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then i notice some weird water and open the doors under the sink to find water everywhere so i clear it all out and mop it up and find two spots where the pipes are loose but as i tighten them and try the faucet again it is still leaking a little bit and all this with 6 going crazy about finishing his homework so he can get ipod the soup going through it's phases and 2 yelling that he has poop and snot so i should come help him immediately and i may need my dad to visit tomorrow to make sure we get this taken care of By: via qwertymonk
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while making the soup and cleaning the kitchen and helping 6 with his homework i was lucky enough to have 2 want to play faucet which is just him playing with water as a small stream runs out of the faucet sometimes he can do this for quite a while and i've read it's really good for children water play By: via qwertymonk
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after that we stopped at a place called total wine my wife suggested i go pick out something to open at xmas like a scotch or whatever but we get inside and it's almost worse than the post office we can't get down the isles to look at anything and i get overwhelmed when there's lots of people and no space and i have a child with me so i kept thinking well we're here i should at least get some beer on sale or something but i just couldn't stand being there and so we left and i never want to go back but perhaps after the holidays in the middle of week day i could find a nice scotch on sale or something but who cares By: via qwertymonk
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a woman helped me figure out my package with an extremely complicated self help machine and then asked if i needed stamps for the envelopes in my hands at which i was unable to answer her because of the whirlwind of button pushing she just went through and then she laughed really hard at my obvious tired confusion dad face so i played it up and asked 2 if we needed stamps and he decided yes and then other people in line were all laughing too by the end of it we were famous for our comedic timing and teamwork and left with spirits a little higher By: via qwertymonk
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had to abort the post office yesterday sending large box of good stuff that wife picked out for my mom but the place was utterly ridiculously busy and conjested which is no one's fault but i've got a 2 year old on a nap schedule and groceries to get to we got the hell outta there and are soon to embark on our next journey to a different post office that promises an easier experience as well we are coming prepared for some waiting By: via qwertymonk
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i gave 2 a bath while 6 and his mom played games upstairs then we joined them and i saw the guitar stuff so i plugged in and shredded until their faces melted off then 6 wanted to play it so i strapped it in him and cinched it so he could jam and he made some great stuff come out of the little speaker and wanted to trade back and forth each time trying different things based on what he had witnessed from his dad later telling me during book tie that i was good at guitar with big eyes revealing a proud heart By: via qwertymonk
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we make it to the school a little late and NO parking basketball tournament driving around later and later we find a spot far away and find a new way into the school past all the basketball check points and find out everyone is late everyone is panicked and everyone is realizing it’s no big deal time for adrenaline dump By: via qwertymonk
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i haven't played guitar in a long time and probably won't be able to until then but sometimes that is for the best and a few people have been pressing me to whip out the typerwriter too which i would like to do but so far time is not allowing it with 2 yelling at me for comfort every time i try to accomplish something By: via qwertymonk
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i wake up to more transmissions from the dakini friend in a faraway land and they are deep dharma confidence power blazing razor love so i return the lob and it comes back with another transmission as well so i can't help but feel overhwelming wealth while bring 2 to wee bop and manually move the garage door which still isn't working and enjoy the light snow and the sunshine that comes out later which then returns to light snow and i take a quick nap while 2 sleeps and then practice a short kila/phurba transmission to become familiar and reveal it into my world By: via qwertymonk
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he’s finally asleep i know it’s the same old story but when it changes i’ll tell that story and wife gets a second wind probably stay up a while watching some screen but i’ve been sitting still reciting mantras and meditating performing tonglen and other drastic measures feeling exhausted and grateful for all we have and bored of whatever excites everyone sad for all the misunderstood suffering and lonely together with you By: via qwertymonk
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texting my old meditation friend i remember things my teacher said and asking her questions because she’s seen him and other teachers more than me she’s done three year retreat she’s been all over nepal and other asian areas of buddhism and her distant company is a relief to me to be able to nerd out on what matters to my heart mind By: via qwertymonk
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they say it is very auspicious when one's mala finally breaks some kind of fruition of all the mantras accumulated on it or something i've asked some friends who've been practicing longer than i what it exactly means but two malas in one week seems like super auspicious i guess not to say things are easy at all but extremely wakeful and doing my best to make everything workable By: via qwertymonk
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i’ve received brutally harsh criticisms and soaring accolades for writing this channel and i learned twenty years ago that you can send an email to two people and have one think you are a saint and the other think you are a demon for the very same reasons so it really doesn’t matter what anyone anyone thinks but i am concerned with how to bring experience and realization into language since i love language and have experiences and realizations and want to connect with other humans just like anyone else By: via qwertymonk
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... wife just got him to sleep finally and i don't care about writing this anymore even though there's more to it so basically just don't assume you know the first thing about parenting if you are a non-parent and this realization has taught me just how arrogant i am about thinking i know absolutely anything about what other beings are going through and that if i start to assume anything about their experience i should just gfm and you should gfy too By: via qwertymonk
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and upstairs in the dark far away from wife and 6 trying to keep crying distant so they can fall asleep i cradle 2 while walking taking a break to sit on the floor and i get this super wrathful thing coming through me related to non-parents posting opinions on social media and this whole long intense flamethrower poem type thing comes raging through my skull that's not pretty but very truthful to how i feel and i won't remember the thing most likely but it had to do with seeing posts of people out at musical shows or making art or posting about their netflix binge after working at the factory and all the other activities people enjoyand deserve in the evening while often i am spending hours and hours working with unreasonable little humans who are wired a certain way and do not respond to anything you can think up or google to fix it or make it easier or better By: via qwertymonk
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wife works on 6 while i take 2 who is still extra unreasonable with the wrath of his sickness baring its fangs and i spend around ninety minutes walking him around trying to redirect his energy in myriad ways sometimes succeeding but him always finding a way back to begging for MOM even though he wouldn't go to her when we tried that which is part of the game he plays innocently unkowingly his gigantic head housing that two year old brain and infinite hear in his chest miles from certain understandings that will help him in this life and wife and i trying to be the best examples we can be By: via qwertymonk
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2 crashing hard early as well as wife makes 6 think it's bedtime even though it's too early and reading a children's version of THE ODYSSEY to him is delightful in the quiet blue house until the screams of 2 erupt and hear wife coming and now we have to switch when we were so close to getting both boys to bed early By: via qwertymonk
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out of the bath 2 launches into an hour long tantrum while wife is crashing hard trying to entertain 6 and 2 is electrocuting my nerves with his tired and sick unreasonable contradictions which i totally understand but after a day of it there’s a point where one loses control of being patient and just feel the full force of it and the reaction to it witnessing the judgements of my own poor parenting against the good marks and how little any of it matters from an aerial point of view By: via qwertymonk
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i feel my mind ear is in a good place when i want to listen to THELONIOUS MONK and even better when i hear a phrase he’s playing and instead of rushing off to learn it verbatim i am mentally composing along with him something that will sound nothing like him but using his idea to make something that sounds like me because i can’t really sounds like anyone else By: via qwertymonk
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it didn't really snow overnight so i woke up disapointed to see the dry cement but as we leaned into morning prep the big fat flakes began floating down and i couldn't help but go out in it and let them land on my bald head and my face and hands wonderful wonderousness i'm enjoying this child side and hoping to hold it's hand throughout the winter or ever By: via qwertymonk
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2 threw up during wife's night shift and the ensuing circumstances kept her up losing a few hours sleep and 2 seems cheerful and isn't running a temp according to the damn thermometer but those things suck because we can tell he's a little warmer than usual and that he's holding his breath a little which means there is something painful or achy or otherwise but overall he's pretty good and ate a ton of breakfast so we'll see how that goes perhaps i'll be cleaning it all up after i clean the puke off the bed By: via qwertymonk
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taco tuesday literally and 6 struggles with one even though i finally made them to his specifications his loose tooth smashing against the new coming in directly behind causing him great stress so he stops and takes a long breather in the room comes back with the bloody tooth in his hand and red lips so we put the tooth in a dish and he washes up swishing cold water By: via qwertymonk
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6 gets off the bus without a backpack and reports that he forgot it at school so we drive to school to get it because homework piles up quickly in chinese immersion first grade and he tells me that he was able to do his school work and that his arm barely hurts anymore but him and his friend were fighting for fun on the bus and he got head butted a couple times which has left him feeling yucky even though he hit his friend in the balls a couple times as retaliation and all i can do is give my best explanation as to why we probably shouldn't be roughhousing in such a way on the bus but i think his headache is teaching more than i or anything ever could By: via qwertymonk
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6 felt that it was important for me to drive him to school so he didn't have to ride the bus and have all the rough kids bump into his scraped arm so we did that and he was so grateful and then 2 and i dropped of a returned xmas present at ups store and got chocolate milk and espresso at the target starbucks before picking up a few items we forgot to get yesterday then we came home and played cars on the castle with frequent tantrum interruptions By: via qwertymonk
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by the time i finished shoveling the driveway this morning i was hatless gloveless and coatless just in my t-shirt pants and boots sweating steam rising feeling majestic so what a perfect time to come inside and shave my head and beard again since they were getting out of hand from my point of view and perhaps they look quite normal to the average passerby but not to qwertymonk poetry falcon arctic sunshine wizard poetry power dolphin e-rock etc and any other nickname i've picked up over the last 42 years nicknames are interesting what are yours By: via qwertymonk
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after groceries 2 and i both slept really hard and woke up to cookies with juice for him and espresso for me as we attempt to get a few things in order before going to pick up 6 again and looking downt the barrel of a loaded gun we call homework and making dinner again i'll probably make THE SOUP By: via qwertymonk
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as 2 and i got back to THE BLUE HOUSE as he calls it not our house or home but THE BLUE HOUSE i had an intense stream of things i needed to accomplish before heading to get groceries and wife added a few more to which i said ONE THING AT A TIME jolly and cheerfully from my point of view but she didn't take it that way and left for work up set while 2 and i finished shoveling the driveway but we texted some clarifying information back and forth and figured it out more or less By: via qwertymonk
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2 falls asleep at a regular time instead of keeping us up late like he has lately which in my experience increases the chances of him waking in the night to use my services and i can feel the worryful anxiety the struggle against having to wake up and become a mess to help him feel comfort and rest again and i feel i can do nothing but prepare for the inevitable possibilities so i look to different vantage points in the briny gaps By: via qwertymonk
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the urge to type and nothing to say l;kadlkvnz;lxncofhapoihtoiahsdosdfhpahweroiqewyr;ushjgn;dzfngnxdpfgdhfvzdfnnsdnkfjahspg;sng;zdjkglkzjsdjfbskbf;sbdjfb;djkxbv;djkszb;jsbd;fgjkBSD;fjkbz;xncvl;kzxnfjgha;erhgaweriuhoaweguraiweuhzsfnzdsmvxmvxnvdkfhgkahshoshgfsgdfZngqdqrscxvqdtqfdgweriertrtiyrtkjpghjghjl By: via qwertymonk
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6 playing outside with the neighbors still as dusk threatens more cold and i make a new calendar on our chalkboard wall to encompass all the xmas junk while listening to instrumental music on my one dollar promotional premium version of spotify as 2 strings endless important unimportance into fascinating sentences and other boring structure and we wait for mom to get back from a quick trip and my dad to arrive with a warm meal By: via qwertymonk
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getting the boys outside in the fresh cold air twice today scraping the ice off the driveway for something to do together even though i don’t care if the driveway is icy seeing 6 get better and better at finding ways to use his energy and brilliance to be helpful and witnessing 2 enjoy winter standing upright in his own snowsuit and boots giant hat on his gigantic head and little red mittens By: via qwertymonk
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it was tough to get 2 down for nap but when i finally did in spite of exhausted again i did not take a nap instead did some practices connected with the puja as instructed by my teacher and felt inspired to share the above picture and brief description of course there is a lot more to it than that and probably a lot less as well but wherever we place our attention is what gains power so why not place it on something virtuous as we travel through pain and joy toward death By: via qwertymonk
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back at home drinking too much espresso i count the beads in the little ziplock snack bag and they're all there 108 so i ask my wife and she agrees i should send it to my sister who has strung and restrung a few malas for me and i text my sister all about the rosewood and how amazing it is and that it might need a new guru bead since that one is a little cheap but usable and all this as i envision my teacher performing the big fat juicy puja for the world and cooking spaghetti for everyone By: via qwertymonk
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when i woke up no one else was awake so i went right to my cushion and sat until 2 woke up maybe ten or fifteen minutes thinking of my teacher beginning his all day practice with the whole world in his heart and the lineage of siddhas before him who’ve suffered massive trauma in order to progress on the path toward no more trauma but just sitting there breathing without any of it real By: via qwertymonk
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get everyone breakfast with coffee for adults 6 and i making it to swim class just in time a miracle wife heading to chiropractor and then us trying to get nap for 2 before play date with 6’s best friend he’s so excited they absolutely adore each other the day is so full of stuff it feels like it’s already over but all good stuff just the same same By: via qwertymonk
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not sure why 2 couldn’t fall asleep he was so so tired but just couldn’t relax after hours of trying he was still rolling around on the bed unable to fall asleep and i picked him up one more time and did a little bounce type walk that i use for infants which seemed to work this time but hadn’t an hour ago there’s no way to know whether it was just time or a certain trick as with most things By: via qwertymonk
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frustrated with bedtime and switching boys with wife i set my phone down on the counter and pull my mala off my wrist to begin walking 2 around when rosewood beads stream down my arm and off the counter my mala had broken after who knows how many years and they say it’s auspicious when it happens and it probably is but never for ego in my experience and i have no idea how many mantras i’ve done on it thousands millions who knows and it doesn’t matter i’ll either leave it be or ask my sister to restring it since she is good at that and i am not and the thing smells so damn good i can’t help but be a little sad but i’ve still got this sandalwood mala that is also fragrant and powerful so off we go By: via qwertymonk
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this path i've supposedly chosen has chosen me and is filled with danger on the way to realization closer and closer to dangerous liberation which is only dangerous to a fixated identity ego thing but hurts just the same until it's free to hurt freely without parameters or perhaps in spite of them By: via qwertymonk
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sometimes meditating is like riding a bucking bronco the body feeling so uncomfortable neck tight head hurting back and arms aching legs and knees are in ouch mode and the mind is flaring thoughts like crazy all over the place and you can just sit there and let it happen and keep coming back to right here breathing and sitting on the ground and after a while it will calm down a little or a lot maybe just a tiny bit but what a powerful wrathfully peaceful thing to do for the world which includes oneself to cut through that terribly brilliant spinning mess of confused sacredness and let the whole thing collapse By: via qwertymonk
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2 falls asleep in the car on the way home from class and when i get him into his bed with his coat and boots on he's sleeping deep so i do the same and have a hard to coming out of it a while later just wanting to lie there all day feeling my body repair itself there's this certain sensation that alerts me to it's doings but i know if i don't get up i won't get any time to meditate just like yesterday By: via qwertymonk
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as we're leaving for class the garage door totally chokes on it's own chain and becomes completely jammed mercury retrograde this has been a continuing source of secret stress for months and my dad keeps coming over to help me fix it because i don't know wtf i'm doing but i've learned a lot as usual and it's nice to hang out with my dad in that way which brings gratitude By: via qwertymonk
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i probably underestimate the level of trauma our night time excursion incurred last night as it was a really bad one and i couldn't sleep afterward for a long time and all of the micro-traumas piling up to use the new buzz word but i am also watching this storyline closely to see it for what it really is which is nothing really in spite of it's intensity and could be seen as a joyous liberation of heaps of negative karma from over the endless hills of kalpas By: via qwertymonk
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it finally begins to subside and i blow my nose and place my glasses back on my face as she launches into more talking about it and i don't realize until after we have an unsuccessful conversation that i'm just talking because she wants me to because it will make her feel better if i talk about it but that didn't work and i feel worse and so does she so this is a good reminder to not talk unless i want to By: via qwertymonk
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it's hell getting 6 and 2 ready and then getting 6 to the bus but we make and when 2 and i return home we take off our boots while wife sits on a chair near us and sit down break into flowing tears trying to breathe deep and she asks me what i'm thinking i just shake my head because there is nothing happening when i cry there is just the intense feeling without a name and the tears and the breathing and all the innocent suffering in the universe and i don't want to talk about it really ever but especially when it's occurring By: via qwertymonk
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meditation predates buddhism by a lot i dont remember how much and astrology predates almost everything i think albeit in a different form than we use today but perhaps more or less accurate and more or less superstitious who know we weren't there and we are barely here even though we are both here and there completely By: via qwertymonk
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6 and read dickens which i’ve never read before while sharing sniffs of the rosewood mala around my wrist and into our hearts and in spite of all the wildness somehow 2 falls asleep and 6 and then i fall asleep but snore myself awake into mantras and contemplation before heading out to the wife By: via qwertymonk
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generally in buddhism anger is the most destructive force there is and it is recommended to avoid it all costs but in the tantra mantra vajrayana there are explanations that describe it as intense energy which can bring profound clarity however one has to hold ones seat through that great storm or be bucked off the horse into reactionism and harming whatever mandala is surrounding oneself By: via qwertymonk
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i become too angry to cry and have to sequester myself upstairs to do as many pushups and sit-ups as i can until the adrenaline runs out and then i become so tired it’s hard to function but there’s a long road toward sleeping little boys and i’m not proud of becoming so angry but i also think we have a skewed idea of how we’re supposed to be of what peacefulness looks like and all the rest of the assumptions By: via qwertymonk
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pick up 6 and have to email the dean of students because he got punched in the eye on the bus and didn't tell the bus driver and he also won't devulge any details of how and why it happened and it sounds like he had a rough time with another kid at school telling the whole class he brings a kleenex box to school which he does and is of course nothing to be ashamed of but they way the boy told the class was intended embarrass 6 and apparently it did just that and 6 says he had a great day except for all these things that were horrible and i have to say i feel the same way usually because it's hard to put into words any other way than just simple contradictions and paradox is the doorway to truth By: via qwertymonk
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making dinner while simultaneously helping 6 with his chinese and math and english homework and putting every fire 2 comes up with is never easy but tonight was diabolical and due to circumstances the meal i had to cook was equally as intense as the two boys and it's still going and i'm exhausted By: via qwertymonk
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2 and i pick up wine and beer at the liquor store and he scores another lollipop his second of the day his first coming from the chiropractor and as we drive west toward the sunset before we turn off to the bus stop the sun is a dim bulb behind monochrome grey waves eerily like some sci-fi film i have or have not seen By: via qwertymonk
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my teacher is doing an all day puja each day this weekend of which i will be a part of from a distance and it is very powerful to be a part of this and then we just found out that my teacher's wife will be naming children so we can get a name for 2 which has us elated and joyfully searching for the best picture to send in since we did the same thing with 6 when he was tiny we sent in a picture with his name and birthdate and received a specific name for him which has become so powerfully him it is astonishing and the house is a crazy mess as the snow floats down and there's a hundred things i have to do at once but i feel wealthy in so many ways with exquisite qualities of an old beat up rosewood mala around my neck wafting the up the scent up my nostrils and into my heart which in turn radiates outward to everyone and everything i encounter By: via qwertymonk
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my back has been threatening to go completely out for the last month and finally today 2 and make the long venture out to our chiropractor and now i can feel such a powerful physical and mental emotional difference i know this will happen almost every time but there is so much that comes up to get in the way of self care and i'm noticing myself succumb to all these extraneous pressures and not take care as well as others doing the same so lets knock it off By: via qwertymonk
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still a good idea to find ways to slow down opt out sit still listen to yourself let this being become familiar with every aspect of itself and if you really want to be helpful let someone talk about their anxiety at length without trying to fix it in any way and watch it untie itself not a panacea but i've seen this work wonders lately going both ways By: via qwertymonk
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hearing a lot of humans right now going through a ton of anxiety based on speediness busyness and miscommunication not listening mishearing misunderstanding reacting too quickly jumping the gun to conclusions where this is no conclusive evidence and it's all quite possibly related to this current mercury retrograde in sagitarius as i was commenting about previously By: via qwertymonk
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2 and i get a nap him long me short then i sit for thirty minutes and play guitar after that and get three months of premium spotify for a dollar and hook up my macbook pro to the little bluetooth speaker which ends up being more complicated than you would think it should be and should be cleaning and working on other stuff but don't want to since there is this short time of just me with myself to do as i please so to speak By: via qwertymonk
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listening VERNON REID who was made famous from the band LIVING COLOUR and then went on to put out some solo records of himself shredding with a very eclectic group of musicians and sounds but his album on spotify is from twenty years ago and i wonder what's he done since so may have to research a bit since i love his over the top style of bad shred tone and way too many notes along with his jazz fusion sensibility mixed within hip hop and driving rock beats etc on and on By: via qwertymonk
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when 2 and i finally made it home he said he was up for driveway shoveling so we went to work but he quickly became too cold and then slipped on the ice so we headed in and worked on teaching him how to take off all his gear before i could get my first cup of coffee and finally use the bathroom after hours of holding it By: via qwertymonk
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the sun and other planets move into sagitarius and things get anxious as it is a sign that has much energy and that energy has no label but can be experienced as enthusiastic exuberance or high anxiety or both or alternating too many irons in the fire and getting burned out and brittle and cranky and firey miscommunication can result or something like that By: via qwertymonk
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do you ever go grocery shopping because you need one particular thing really bad and so you pick up some other stuff as well and then you get home and realize you didn't get that one thing you really needed at the top of the list yeah i just did that so we're heading back tomorrow to get that one thing By: via qwertymonk
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mercury just turned retrograde during the full moon while it was on the galactic center and great attractor so it is a good time to shut the fuck up and listen go inward listen and look and be quiet and listen some more and i write this as a reminder to myself more than anything but sharing it here will drill it home more deeply By: via qwertymonk
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once she’s off with her bucket of fresh coffee from the stove top moka pot i get a minute to myself for what they call self care and i call two minutes alone in the bathroom with the help of a cartoon monkey and then i push my luck and record myself playing guitar for five minutes freely improvising whatever i feel like playing because why not and the small wins add up as quickly as the tiny daggers balancing up and down apex and zenith By: via qwertymonk
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as 6 got off the bus he reminded me he has no school tomorrow which i had totally forgotten about and as the realization washed over me so also did the beginnings of mental and emotional preparation not that it is for sure going to be a bad day but to get ahead of the energy to be my best and also become one with the possibility of a horrible day since low expectations plus disciplined preparation sometimes makes it all happen and flow with workability or not By: via qwertymonk
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for lack of a better term panic attack for breakfast and i have to protect it from the problem solver who is in a whole other gear no fault of hers at all but not being able to comprehend what i’m going through i think it best to not try and describe it and fix it right away which rubs the opposite direction of our velcro nation the speed the aggression and i am part of it and once i stay with it whatever kind of demon monster it is eventually the tears come and they bring the gift of simplicity along like perfect ocean to sit and feel content within waves crashing about and the still deepness undisturbed by anything By: via qwertymonk
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as i was telling K i go through phases where i do not listen to music at all and can't stand it really and then other phases where i the fire is blazing and all i want to do is listen to music and make music the latter being my current phase but i don't feel like i have control over these extremes By: via qwertymonk
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mckjsjksoiqowofkfxnnbzbxnxkfoklaqpehtbynglflnsnsbxickfnsnpskcnenwoqpehtngofjdnsofkfnxmmzbxbckcodooajwhehttgnfnfksoxpckdnanzcmgkofossofpdowjhwbznxmxmfksokdjHEADACHEnxnjjcjkskalalkdjrjdbwhjajsjdndnsjzkkckfnsnsnnsjxkcknznznhshahqueififkejhajhokgnnrkskdkdnnxjfofoognfjfksjswbqbbzbzndfkkgkgkgndnnfjfkdsnsndnkdksksnndkdkskksjdkd By: via qwertymonk
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contemplating the paramitas today: generosity of generosity generosity of discipline generosity of patience generosity of exertion generosity of meditation generosity of prajna discipline of generosity discipline of discipline discipline of patience discipline of exertion discipline of meditation discipline of prajna patience of generosity patience of discipline patience of patience patience of exertion patience of meditation patience of prajna exertion of generosity exertion of discipline exertion of patience exertion of exertion exertion of meditation exertion of prajna meditation of generosity meditation of discipline meditation of patience meditation of exertion meditation of meditation meditation of prajna prajna of generosity prajna of discipline prajna of patience prajna of exertion prajna of meditation prajna of prajna By: via poetry falcon
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perhaps i should have just listened instead of interjecting my commiseration connective tissue but either way we were due for a misunderstanding and an argument which then became nothing but could again i suppose as 2 and i ride his roller coaster and finally i perform some lujong [training the body] and shave my head and beard always feeling closer to my monk brothers and sisters when i do that By: via poetry falcon
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The Greatest … ~ Atisha The greatest achievement is selflessness. The greatest worth is self-mastery. The greatest quality is seeking to serve others. The greatest precept is continual awareness. The greatest medicine is the emptiness of everything. The greatest action is not conforming with the worlds ways. The greatest magic is transmuting the passions. The greatest generosity is non-attachment. The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind. The greatest patience is humility. The greatest effort is not concerned with results. The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go. The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances. By: via poetry falcon